Gendered moments - veiled and gazed

In what ways you see gender stereotypes being promoted in the late capital extravaganza? Well the straight answer would be through the projections like that of advertisements and numerous other popular media connotations like television and the movies. Yes of course, the glamourous Bollywood movies and songs of late cling on 'traditions'. The spectacle attempts to gloss away and blind the spectators from getting the glimse of what lies underneath.

It is this everydayness that defines gender roles and adds gloss to it. Yes, like everything else gender sells and so does the gender roles.

A security guard and a salesman (probably) make sense of defining how the woman is supposed to stay under the veil, never see outside without it because there is this male gaze afraid by the men themselves. Meanwhile, in a patriarchal world kaleidoscope is riding a car sharing with a couple and a baby fallen asleep on her mother's lap. Protected by the father and advised by the male cab driver about the gender roles and sacrifices of the mother. 

Compensating for a Gendered World III - Earn extra

Kaleidoscope doesn't know how many times he is going to see the same genderTarulata and Anna (which literally means not any more), if they don't just click on their names btw, now its time to share with you story of Aloka.
story from different actors. Kaleidoscope believes people remember

Aloka is a new inclusion to care for the peripheral works associated with the newborn in Kaleidoscope's home. Aloke happens to wear elegant saaris, often reads news paper when there is not much workload. In fact, there is plenty of time as after washing the baby's clothes and boiling water etc. there is hardly anything left for her to do. Kaleidoscope was curious about Aloka. She happens to speak less but when she speaks she speaks about the world outside. When she doesn't have work to do, she often goes to the balcony or on the roof to watch outside. Aloka happens to have a lot of phone calls. Mostly regarding orders to be handled by her husband who is a tailor.

What is her story? Kaleidoscope was curious. So here it goes.

Aloka's, husband is a good tailor and used earn  good enough to sustain a family, raise their girl and make arrangement for her marriage. Things started to change with the inception of ready made garments. "Even aged people started wearing the ready made cloths!"

Yes, it was a huge change: "Those of the workers easily switched over and joined some 'pull' or in some shopping plaza, those owing shops and business, (entrepreneur Kaleidoscope thought!) could not switchover easily.

Meanwhile Aloka watched her little daughter managing his not to well off family all by herself. Her affinal kin didn't demand anything but then there was infrastructure 'deficit.' Her daughter needed an alimrah, the newly wedded couple had to sleep on a chawki and lacked a proper bed.

While she urged for those items to be given to her daughter "just to set her free of the obligation that she had to keep everything in her mother-in-law's alimrah, and everytime she needed something she had to ask for the keys" her husband said "you have earn it, I can not give, neither did I have the money for it!"

Aloka felt helpless, meanwhile, there was problem mounting in her daughter's family with everyday access to the the alimrah and the like.

Aloke took up the job of aaya - a helping hand in need. She ended up serving for one of the readymade material suppliers and could give her husband one last opportunity to use his skill and earn. This time the husband agreed. Watching Aloka earning he felt humiliated for not being able to earn enough! So the family, as Kaleidoscope watches is slowing coming back to its original shape.

Meanwhile she could afford an alimrah and a proper bed for her daughter!

Pic: taken from http://www.mbcnschool.org/blog/international-womens-day-the-road-to-women-empowerment/

Compensating for a gendered world II - A migration story

Kaleidoscope found Tarulata a few years back in 2013 to compensate for the marriage of her daughter by working as a maid to his house (click here). He knows there are gendered stories behind many of the maids he encounters in his world. In West Bengal a lot of them are coming from his neighbouring country Bangladesh. Kaleidoscope is not intending to address any of the larger issues like refugee problem or of late Assam story of National Register of Citizens. He just wishes to share a story of forced migration, just one amongst the millions untold.

The story lets say belongs to "Anna." The name is not from any place in South India, but is from Bangladesh. The name is linked to a Bangla phrase "Ar naa" meaning not any more. Yes, she has a literal name of ending. Her parents tried for a male child but only got females and hence after fifth issue they decided to call it off! There is no prize in guessing what the childhood this Anna might have had.

Anna grew up, never got formal education and ended up marrying a carpenter contractor having considerable amount of ancestral property. Anna, developed all the skills one needs to run a family, manage farming, milk cow, manufacture cowdung cake, and maintain a household. All unpaid and expected job for a woman. She has had two daughters and two sons and meanwhile for some unknown fear her in-laws migrated from Bangladesh to India. Anna had well settled life in Bangladesh in a peaceful village life. She had Muslim friends and there was hardly any thing to discuss about being Hindu and Muslim (I had to ask about it with particular emphasis).

Meanwhile her father-in-law paid a visit and asked Anna to give her daughter to him to India as her mother-in-law wanted to see her. Anna was never agreed but her husband didn't listen to her.

She got a phone call after a couple of years from her daughter begging her to come to India to rescue her as she was put as a maid to one of the rich Marwari households in Lake Town. She asked her husband to make arrangements to go to India and bring her daughter. Her husband having all faith to her in-laws didn't give much attention but reluctantly came to India. He was being told that his daughter is staying at one of their kin's house and not in some Marwari houseld. He believed in that and came back. Meanwhile, her daughter called up her again and this time she told that she doesn't want to live any more if they are not coming to rescue her.

Anna convinced her husband by making a havoc in the village and all their neighbours helped her. Meanwhile because of the social pressure her husband decided to sale off all his properties there and settle down in India as he thought of his ailing parents. He had to sold everything in one fifth price and they made a move in the Bengali month of Bhadra.

"No one moves out in Bhadra month dada! People do not even throw away cats and dogs from home in the month of Bhadra, but my husband because of his ego made that hasty move. Even one of our Muslim neighbours asked us to stay back and spend at least that month and then make the move, but he didn't listen to me..."

Anna came to India with her husband in India with little savings in hand. Settled down in Bongaon with her in-laws and her husband suffered a brain stroke to become paralysed. Its been eighteen years, she is taking care of everything. She raised her daughters and sons. Her rescued daughter now works in some private agency and married to a descent man of her choice. They help her run the family. Her younger daughter is also married and settled. Her elder son is learning to become a electric mechanic and younger one is studying in class IX.

Anna - still manages to smile while she works at Kaleidoscope's home as he and the queen has recently become parents.

Bangladeshi - the derogatory term Kaleidoscope like many others knows are essential components of 'affordable' labour - no matter how harsh it may sound. Bangladeshi - the derogatory term entails millions of stories - larger than life. larger than imagined life!

PC: https://njerimureithi.wordpress.com/2016/10/24/sexism-in-advertisements-and-gender-inequality/ 

Of Everyday Gossiping and Over-rated Civilisation

"The mad tea party" by Mark Bryan, Taken from https://www.artofmarkbryan.com/politics/

Kaleidoscope belongs to a species which is highly ethnocentric in its character. It thinks that it is superior than any other species of the earth.

Enormous divisions and inequalities:

The species within itself is divided based on a variety of symbolic attainments and value perceptions. It thinks, strongly believes and makes it natural that the ability to run a computer is far superior thing than to be able to run itself! Hence, it has a detailed and infinite divisions of the feeling of superiority. Most often it hates each other in the name of certain bodily,  behavioural and fictional differences. It is so important for the species that it adopts symbolic cannibalism! The sense of hierarchy usually ends at an individual level and sometimes even within individual levels divisions are there. Imagine such statements as "I have become a much superior person than what I was a year ago!" Hence Kaleidoscope's species is always going through at least three things:

1. A growth story
2. A classification story
3. A criteria story.

The Gossip theory:

The curious case is it's everyday practices in present time when it attempts to adopt mechanisms to sustain the fictional nature of hierarchy. It usually loves to form group, group within a group, group within a group within a group. The critical problem that Kaleidoscope's species faces is primarily of two kinds, first, the problems of information processing. Imagine when the size of the group is fifty, there are 1225 different combinations of one-to-one relationships! These 1225 individuals in a complex society - such as the one in which Kaleidoscope firmly believes that he lives, has other relationships as well. Therefore,the amount of information that the human brain needs to process in unimaginable. Second, the problems of dealing with heterogeneity and instability.  Even when Kaleidoscope's species is settled (but not sure) about each of the individuals they tend to remain sceptical and seek information to participate in a continuous process of system update, because of insatiable suspicious curiosities. Even in Chimpanzee society groups seldom cooperate (Frans de Waal 2000).

Therefore Kaleidoscope's species tend to form groups and seek information. How to seek information? It is by gossiping. For early humans it was important to know and constantly keep tracking "who hates whom?" "Who sleeps with whom?" "Who is reliable and who is a cheat" - Kaleidoscope's present society continues to remain the same. Kaleidoscope's fellow members continue to gossip through each an every medium of communication! (Dunbar, 1998) 

The re-incarnation of primordial gossips:

What makes present species different through civilisation is its incredible ability to imagine things. Behind the back gossips are often sexually charged or are in a way or other linked to essential nature of the species - looks, Body features (size and shape of breasts, for example!), smell and smile!

Now, when there is rarely any significant data about the rival groups the species tend to imagine things. Remember rivalry can come through a variety of sources: a) rival for different nature/culture/looks b) rival for different opinions, c) rival for conflicts of interests, d) rival for attraction and lack of availability, and so on. When there is a serious lack of substantive data to 'rationalise' rivalry, imagined gossip game helps achieving it. The easiest way in the society in which Kaleidoscope lives in, is to spread rumors about flaws in the imagined standard of living (society calls it morality). Such gossips usually carry sexually charged content and hence become easily popularised. Kaleidoscope would like all his readers to remember the most popular gossips in their office or neighbourhoods. Yes, you know it, its about flaws in the imagined standard of morality- it does not have to be sex only, every culture has different sets of standards and so does different mechanisms of imagined gossips.

The classification of re-incarnated group mobilisers:

1. The frequent oscillators: These are the people who changes their positions according to the actors and agencies with which s/he is interacting. They usually lack strong personalities and usually able to sense the pulse of group dynamics well. Therefore, these are the people who attempts to remain in good book of every power centres.
2. The power cravers: These are the members who compromise anything to retain certain imagined positions of authorities.
3. The open bookers: Represent those who continues to remain open about their positions and orientations and opinions
4. The opportunists: are those who look for self interest maximising opportunities in every situation
5. The strategic silent beings: never speak unless something involves their personal interests, but when anything does involve personal interests they raise their voice and take a stand.
6. Unopinionated: represents those who never gives opinions.
7. The black and whites: those handfuls who manage to remain relatively unattached with any of the subgroups and continue to criticise everything which in their opinion is wrong.

All these players usually love an equilibrium - which is hard to get. One can remember Foucault's notion of power as a net-like organisation where the concentration of power is never settled and extremely situational.

The changing power terrain:

Usually, in a rapidly changing power terrain the "frequent oscillators" initially exchange information between groups and then change their group affiliations. The "power cravers' usually are driven out of the power centres or are given relatively less important but ornamental positions. The 'open bookers" does not experience much of a stress and remain intact. "The opportunists" seeks new opportunities and usually forgets old power centres. "The strategic silent beings" remains silent unless something disturbs their inner equilibrium. "Unopionated" and "black and whites" remains the same, only the later continue to make new enemies.

It continues, in your family, office, schools, clubs and in nations. Kaleidoscope's species could only mask the primordial craves in the name of over-rated imagination of Civilisation.

See if you like

Dunbar, Robin (1998). Grooming, Gossip and the Evolution of Language. Cambridge: Harvard University Press

Frans De Waal (2000). Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press.

What should you wear in an emergency?

Kaleidoscope's neighbour has an one year old girl. In a sad incident today the girl fell on a half cooked and still boiling fish curry. It was a sudden accident that attracted about fifteen people to gather and to instruct. The most significant question that came immediately after the decision of taking the child to a hospital nearby was what should her mother wear? She was in a nighty- a popular form of informal night dress which one is supposed to wear while remaining inside the home.

It was debated among the spectators and she was not given the privacy to change her clothes as the family has only a couple of rooms. She could not say a  thing but left hesitantly in her nighty.

When she came back in the afternoon. The discussion was how rational it was for her not to change her clothes, and that no one would mind, not even the men at roads who watched her on her way. This discussion continued for hours with an addition that it was an emergency otherwise you should not wear a nighty outside and how embarrassing it is to go out like that even in an emergency. 

P.S. The girl is fine now with some second degree burns on one of her legs which will take some time to heal.

I do not know about the woman and her feeling about the clothes and the discussion, whether this 'embarrassment' would ever be healed.

Postmodern Travels

Others know a lot about Kaleidoscope's long travel experiences. Some of the facebook posts shows that Kaleidoscope travels with a romantic mood. When his train hops at different stations Kaleidoscope takes snaps. One thing that Kaleidoscope do not report is the postmodern condition in which he travels in the local trains which takes him from Birati to Sealdah and "Super fast" buses that takes Kaleidoscope from Mecheda to Haldia, especially in Mondays.

So here it goes. Monday morning Kaleidoscope says good bye to The Queen at 5:00am. The Queen could only say a few words with her sleepy voice and swelled eyes.

Kaleidoscope boards to a train filled with subalterns. They take revenge by smoking bidis, sleeping on the seats meant for sitting. Some of them goes as far as changing their night dress, i.e. the lungi and wearing the day dress, i.e. Pants before they get down. These subalterns travel regularly. They sit together, literally sleeps on each other. As the train reaches to the Dumdum, some of them are awaken and they happily say good byes, talks to each other with regular slangs, throws sexually charged words to womenfolks who seem to enjoy these chats and travels with them regularly. Most of them gets off at Dumdum or Bidhannagar (ultadanga). These co-passengers are informal sector workers who bring flowers, vegetables and fruits for the urban consumers from remote corners of the urban hinterland. Kaleidoscope increasingly getting a feel that these early morning local trains represents a perfect postmodern habitus. The boundaries [between bodies] are blurred, norms are breached and impositions are compromised.

Kaeidoscope gets off at Sealdah and boards to shared taxi, more popularly known as "Shuttle" to reach at Howrah. When he walks down the pathway from Sealdah station to Mahatma Gandhi Road, jet propelled autos rushes towards Mechua - the fruit market carrying some his co-passengers. In the shuttle, Kaleidoscope presses his body against others as these shuttles must carry more passengers than a car can usually carry.

The train journey from Howrah to Mecheda is pleasant when Kaleidoscope often takes the snaps.

Boundaries do dissolve

Kaleidoscope and his colleagues must loose a number these "Super fast" (popularly Haldia/Mecheda Super) buses in order to secure seats at Mecheda. As these buses are stopped boundaries are dissolved again. Kaleidoscope like others adjusts between the pressing bellies, wallets, mobile phones and reproductive systems. Usually Kaleidoscope sleeps but nevertheless he often remains conscious about the boundaries that continue to dissolves until the bus reaches at City Center. Kaleidoscope finds young girls, college students compromising their bodily boundaries, and limits for an (un)invited postmodern potential of the journey. 

For the sake of her marriage: Compensating for a gendered world

Kaleidoscope has experienced the presence of several domestic helps since his father could afford them. He has seen never ending complains from his mother about the bad performance of these maids. Last week one of  the old maids Tarulata, her now married daughter Krishna and granddaughter Ghutul who is only four months of age arrived when Kaleidoscope was reading Jonathan Glancey's Nagaland. He was quite unaware about the atrocities that people of Nagaland are facing as he has been unaware about Tarulata. Tarulata with her granddaughter on her lap smiles at Kaleidoscope and says "see, this is the reason I choose to work as a domestic help"

When Tarulata in late 1980s gave birth to Krishna, a girl child she was told by her mother-in-law and her husband that she is responsible for the birth of this girl child, and that she must arrange for her marriage. Tarulata cried with helplessness but slowly accepted the challenge and took up the profession of domestic help in many houses including that of Kaleidoscope's. Tarulata's husband over the years have done reasonably well in his shoe and chappal manufacturing business. In late 1990s Tarulata's husband repeatedly requested Tarulata to give up her profession and start relaxing for a while, but that request was futile. When Krishna comes up to sixteen she also accompanies Tarulata and finally in 2009 Krishna is married to a small business man. Over the year Tarulata buys the jewelry, pays off the dowry and now holds a smiling face with her granddaughter in her lap. After Krishna's marriage Tarulata gives up the profession and now helps her husband more actively in his business.


Kaleidoscope exhales and comes back to his room with a fear of unknown future of Krishna with her daughter.

[Reasons to worry:
Dowry related register death cases in India in 2010 is 8391 click here
The Hindu reports India looses 3 million girls in infanticide click here]

Place, Space and Body: a Matter of Concern

Kaleidoscope stays about a kilometer away from major road and rail connectivity. He had no grumble against it. His “walk… walk… walk” destinity was a matter of being in the world. However, recent changes in the never ending urbanization process have made it possible to access newly build Belghoria Express way which is a three minutes of walk from home. Now Kaleidoscope can throw a funny bone to the queen as her world always involved quicker access to Jessor road and VIP road!

Hmmm it’s Express:

Expressway is dark, in fact pitch black after the dusk and is aided with several incidents of murders. Both sides of the road there are high rise buildings coming up and hence it is not a place for roaming around. Excepting office-time when boarding a bus from the expressway is like fighting for Olympic gold medal, the rest of the time it’s empty and filled with people gambling for the whole day. Therefore, it is the place to be avoided by the queen in absence of Kaleidoscope. Even when Kaleidoscope is accompanying the queen they are to avoid the place after dusk. Even if Kaleidoscope is travelling alone, he should avoid the place after 19:30.

The girl of my college, the girl of my neighbourhood, the girl of my life: three isolated cases

Kaleidoscope’s and in fact everybody’s favourite student, who gives a shocking experience to all the teachers for being a) regular, b) attentive, c)sincere, d) conscience. Additionally she speaks softly and asks questions in otherwise one-way deliberations. She stopped asking questions for the last couple of weeks and this week she stopped answering. Big reason to worry! As Kaleidoscope speaks in private she narrates the repeated threats from one of the local boys as she refused his relationship proposal. The boy happens to be a students’ union leader. So, now she cannot travel alone, she can barely concentrate in studies. She is afraid of conveying this message to her parents as that might put an end to her academic career! Medusa, Kaleidoscope’s colleague is also concerned with this matter. She devotes a blog entry . 

Another girl, my neighbour, virtually grownup at our house, is now grownup, still in school, travels alone and hence, is a target for many. She is proposed, harassed, and now needs her mother to accompany her whenever she goes out.

And now the queen narrates all her fears of going to the unknown places, especially places that instigates strong sixth sense! It was a matter Kaleidoscope hardly understood earlier, especially during his college life and afterwards, but now he can make sense of what the sixth sense means. In fact, Kaleidoscope too can now feel there is something, some sense, and some events, no matter how careless and accidental it may seem in public places. There are hands, legs and body that transcend the private-public boundaries for pleasure. No one knows how long that lasts.

The broad spectrum and linkages:

One of the most shocking videos released recently is a long and detailed recording of a gang molestation incident in Guwahati. It reflects on the crimes, which requires a complex response from administration, law and society. We can easily recall the Pinki Pramanik’s case  where she was ‘handled’ by male police officers. We can recall the park street rape case which experiences an unintended politicization. and as part of the process media was accused to cook up the story. For the last several months the country and especially our state is experiencing an unprecedented rise of crime, especially the crime against woman. West Bengal in 2011 climbs up the ladder of “crime against women” rank.Kaleidsocope, like many others finds connections in
1.       Abuse at home.
2.   Khap Diktats: where caste panchayat’s decisions for banning women in UP from going      out and using mobile phone is approved
3.     Honour killing
4.     Dowry related deaths:
5.     Son preference and female feticide.
6.     Female body and advertisements
7.     Concerns for women dress pattern and their free movements that calls for rape!

Kaleidoscope and his avoiding selves:

Kaleidoscope lives in the same world where the interconnected issues are pertinent. Therefore, Kaleidoscope maintains which places to avoid at which time especially when he is with the queen. He has his recommendations for the queen on similar issues. In deep inside he feels the same helplessness while he questions the very foundation of “unsafe”. Kaleidoscope knows what the question is and what question is to be asked. When he suggests the queen to avoid certain places at certain times, and evade the question, “why should that place be unsafe?” he relives, reinforces and reconstructs the world which otherwise he always hates to live in.