Capitalising the Socialist appeal - consuming the pizza hut and rearing up a consumer

Kaleidoscope had a day off and since it was possible for a quick visit to eye doctor the family decided to go together. To their surprise the checkup was done amazingly fast and as it always happens before the puja they needed to spend their hard earned money. Yes it was time to spend so that they can beg for the rest of the month. 

What is the better way to consume the world than to start with a pizza. Pizzahut, was opening and the complaint was on the relative hotness of the shop! Bodies could determine easily if they are going to consume well, in sync with what they plan to consume. 

Sir, ACa are working at full strength, just give it some time! - a sales girl said and they concentrated on the garlic bread and a fantastic pizza. 

The kid is happy in consuming the pizza. And then, bang, the shop is selling socialist appeal as they pledge to provide equal piece to all. 



So it was a happy ending after all as they could spend much more for the consumer's spree before the Durgapuja. 

The kid returned and see what he did. 

Are we really upbringing a consumerist self? Long live revolution Kaleido thought! 

Did you transcend?

It was late, it was around 2-00 in the night. Or was it really late for the endless succession of depthless weekens? perhaps not. The night was still young with music, dance floor and the young bodies. Bodies of lie, bodies of denial. 

A perfect moment to begin a crime story. A murder, or perhaps the death of an idea of a better tomorrow. 

With some alcohol running through the vein it doesn't matter, whether you kill a person or an idea! 

Killing a person is concrete and might pull more attention of the readers, much better than end of an idea! 

So be it Kaleidoscope withdraws and pours another glass of cheap whiskey! 

sleep? what is that for!

Did you get enough sleep last night? 

Did you get enough sleep every night? 

Do you earn enough to have a proper sleep in the night? 

How much do you think is enough to get a proper sleep every night? 

These are not easy questions. Kaleidoscope travels with fellow sleef deficit bodies. Usually busy in their mobiles in the morning that shows that they did get just enough sleep to browse to select the favourite play station. 

Usually then the sleep engulfs them and on his return the bodies are usually unconscious in their deep workaholic sleep. 

Isn't it time that we should seriously think about work - sleep balance? 

The lonely peg

 What does it mean to be alone? For some others, selfie is the the loneliest thing that a human being can do. For some, the worst feeling is to drink alone. 

The problem lies with the definition of "alone"! What if I say that I drink with moon, mosquito and the mystic smell of the madhabilata which I so dearly allowed to invade in my privacy? What if I say that even when I am alone, I am not really alone, I am inside and I have inside the souls that keep on defining what I am?

Does a peg or two in the middle of the night define loneliness? Perhaps yes, perhaps no, perhaps love!

 

... moments you carry home

Moment by moment we live with a promise of living together beyond those moments. 

What happens beyond moments? Do we live separately! Perhaps not, we live with those moments. Bodies carry the marks of those moments, soul is etched with the words you have been whispering, the warmth of breathing on your skin speaks of the absent trace. You don't really leave thoae frozen moments, you live with them perhaps for ever. 

The fast times, crossing the physical space and creating distances no matter how materialistic it appear your moments envelope you! The absent trace is never quite over, so is your presence being never enough. 

Co-constructions - The other name of Love

The world engulfs you towards a liminality when ideas flow and inspiration comes from the space and the person whom you belong to. It was a sudden plan that invited Kaleidoscope to jump into and then develop a co-authored lifeworld that begins now but feels like it has always been like this. The co-authorship promises for a co-constructed journey to a liminal world and back. 

Kaleidoscope knows the transient nature of such journeys but the journey continues and keeps on repeating even when it's over for the moment. The touch remains on his skin, the smell recalls the warmth and memories of a nostalgic world. 

The co-constriction nevertheless is a lonely game when it's not raining, the co-construction is fulfilling when it is raining. Like a traveller without a travelogue Kaleidoscope contonues to embrace the absent trace through the smell, warmth and hugs that brings him close to the soul that saves him a million times without even knowing. 

Image- The Persistence of Love by Salvador Dali

A Destination nowhere or a time travel

It is their turn to meltdown as the entire city attempts to engulf a small cab. It should be the yellow one, Kaleidoscope thought. What would be best way to end an wonderful day as the love struck romeo and his princess had surreal hours of togetherness. You are not the author, or are you, Kaleido? - The city asks him. Kaleidoscope didn't know what to say as he saw the princess was already melting down in the warmth of the space where she sat for the last few hours. She is beautiful and she shouldn't just leave the Romeo now, not in this way, thought Kaleido. But he is not the author, or is he?

They hurriedly left, as the love-struck Romeo was already bridging the boundaries between the possible, impossible and beyond, between the known and the unknown, limits and beyond. Would they go for a smoke now? Would they walk through the alleyways where the neon lights, streetlamps and trees were busy making a twilight? Would they wonder as the city was preparing for a more mesmerizing hours? 

Yes Kaleidoscope is not the author. Ah! a yellow taxi. City is writing the rest of story, Kaleido thought. 

So an impossible journey begins. A journey that doesn't have a destination. Nothing to achieve, nowhere to go, Princess and Romeo were melting down inside as the yellow taxi directed by the city itself move passed through the city traffic and neon lights. They were rather quick to become one and a frozen moment was created. They reached nowhere in time, yet they moved through the space, only the frozen moment remained like an absent trace that lingers. Thousands of these absent traces in-scripted by the city itself make up the city, a beautiful love affair. Kaleidoscope knew he is not the author.  

Emptiness and love affairs - the absent trace

 Kaleidoscope with his endless succession of depthless presents embraces an empty signifier the whole wide world likes to call as love. Love, to be loved is often a longing for a home that never exists. Indeed this empty signifier makes love ever more coveted. Kaleidoscope like his fellow countrymen aims at attaching love with person, objects and over and above everything fleeting realities. 

... and then against all the odds, love arrives, in its purest and tender form, like a neverending storm. Is this home? Asks Kaleido? Home? what is a home? does it exist beyond the moment in which Kaleidoscope immerses and finds himself. One kiss, one touch, one moment of holding hands, touching fingers and looking at the person, while everything else melts down. Is this going to last forever? 

What is the forever? Why Kaleidoscope is so enamored with permanency when the entire world is becoming more transient and mirrored? In the heart of the built in city, Kaleidoscope notices the buildings only have the foundations, the rest is glassy. Glassy! yes, non-permanent, transparent and again fleeting. What if the mirror breaks down?

What if the mirror breaks down? Kaleidoscope looks at the ceiling of the his favourite joints, they are all black! Why black? Because no one looks at them? Who says no one? he was looking to find  out post-office red painted water pipes, what if there is a fire? also the AC ducts hanging naked! Werent they supposed to wear a proper false ceiling. 

False ceiling? False and ceiling, where is the true ceiling then? Well its painted black, invisible! 

Kaleidoscope kisses everything that he feels like permanent, loneliness, emptiness, fleeting signifires, black ceilings, even if they are invisible, even if they are leaving an absent trace. 

Kaleoscope decides to seek the fleeting and empty signifiers for the rest of his life, be it dark, be it dampy, be it moist and full of tears, Kaleidscope still believes in love affairs.  

disciplining, anarchy and the broken dreams

Just an weekend approaching when the entire world is trying to make things different. Christmas some call it, some find it in the new year, some find it in their birthdays. Making out extraordinary from people's otherwise regular disciplined lives. Kaliedoscope thought of giving a benefit of doubt about his fellow planetmates, yes they need a reason to celebrate, they need an occassion to to go beyond the disciplinary boundaries. Only once may be, or a few times in a year.

So, the not so classy people have Biswakarma, a bit classy has the Kalipuja, and the superclassy has the Christmas and New year parties. 

So kaleidoscope's beloved government gives a discount in the night curfew, thought Kaliedoscope with his critical self intact. However, in the midnight, it's kaleidoscope opening up himself to the world, embracing all the the disciplinings and the challenges he thought he was making in his everyday life. Therefore kaleidoscope too looks half faced, half dark in his deadly combination of punishing self and the disciplinings. 

In sum CHEERS. 

Ideal Prototypes and a Loss of Innocence

Kaleidoscope had this flashback moment when a familiar voice called his childhood name on his way to the nearby park with his son! Who was it calling? Thought Kaleidoscope. A smiling unfamiliar face appeared from a machine van (popularly called the vano) - a not too old addition to the contaminated diesel run good carrying vehicle which is infamous for its unregulated movement and pollution causing behaviour. Such a machine van is most frequently seen in the rural counterpart of the state in which Kaleido lives. He had to travel on them while he was on fieldtrips or in his former work place in Haldia.

Who was it? The smile seemed to be known, and the bright eyes are familiar too, but what happened to his cheek - its all grown beard! Oh! the person smiled, you cant recognise me because of this? He was pointing towards the salt-and-pepper hairs that grew on his chin and lower cheeks! Kaleidoscope could readily recognise the person - ah! Bablu Kaku na! - isnt it Bablu uncle? He smiled!

Yes, its me! and I have a different look... and a different occupation too!

Yes, I remember Bablu Kaku, we used to have long conversations during his afternoon work sessions as a helper to the Masonry work when my father was trying to build a house bit by bit! Bablu kaku was a clean shaved gentleman. He used to talk to the then 11 year old Kaleidoscope about their childhood days. It was not much different from the one Kaleidoscope was experienceing, so instead of being amazed or mesmerised, Kaleidoscope used to learn practical skills of climbing trees, or eating particular form of wild berries without being affected by its sour juice! Bablu kaku was Bablu Kaku not a Muslim Bablu kaku or a Hindu Bablu kaku! Except for the

But with an ideal Muslim looking beard, Kaleidoscope could readily see Bablu kaku looks no longer the Bablu kaku he knew for years, or the image of the person that was stored inside his mind for a considerable period of time!

So what happened to Bablu Kaku?
Kaleidoscope didn't ask! He is no longer a 11 year old kid who could promptly ask things that comes to his mind! He needs to be cautious about asking things without hurting! Or perhaps without grabbing attention of the public sphere which surrounds Kaleidoscope! When he could not ask anyting at all, Bablu Kaku could read his mind! With his penetrating eyes, he mentioned,

I had to grow beard, you know its us - the Muslims! I have to look like one!

Kaleidoscope could see the active construction of Ideal prototypes of Sacchha Mussalman, a counterpart of what he sees everyday in his country in the name of Hinduism - the Hinduttva! 

Bablu kaku left the place carrying his characteristics smile and the bright eyes which has not changed with his looks, thought Kaleidoscope!

The practice of such ideal prototype constructions as Kaleidoscope has been exploring at different places in West Bengal (roughly parallel to what is happening in his rest of the country) is a known fact to Kaleidoscope. However, seeing his childhood memories altered radically is a completely different experience. No matter how short lived the meeting has been, no matter how hopeful and happy Kaleidoscope is to see the smile and eyes remain the same - Kaleidoscope knew for sure, his world is changing, perhaps irrevocably!

(see also Manufacturing polarisation in contemporary India, in International Journal of Conflict and Violence)

Canal transforms - nostalgia and kitch in New Town, Kolkata

  There used to be an unimportant route of memories to meet river, often unchecked. Yes it did carry water and since until recent times it was a country side, the water was nicer. Just nicer enough to grow water Lily and some edible roots and underwater growths. Kaleidoscope could see villagers reclaiming the canal, collecting water Lily flower seems and roots to consume.

Just yesterday it was, kaleidoscope remembers unkempt spiking trees and bushes along with the reflection of the sky added some tales of past. Not to forget birds especially three different types of Kingfishers added extra attraction to kaleidoscopic imagination.
Meanwhile, blue-white encroached and parallel running lanes were paved. It was a slow but definite entrance of the state to reclaim and redesign the space, taking away from the lap of nature.

While kaleidoscope could see trees trimmed there is this recent addition - lightposts. Soon to follow the charaistic blue-white led drapes. Perhaps another end to the beauty as it is and an onslaught of transformation to something which can be best described as kitsch.

While kaleidoscope walked pass the kanak-champak flowering tree someone whispers from the tree "let there be darkness".

See how the trees added spring to the canal
http://sumanparole.blogspot.com/2019/02/the-spring-has-to-come.html?m=1

See how the canal side looked before the addition

https://sumanparole.blogspot.com/2018/03/the-last-canal-newtown-and-great.html?m=1

The spring has to come

As the canal side road continues to amaze kaleidoscope with one thing or the other. A sudden appearance of tiny little common kingfisher making it's typical water close flight, or momentary call of blak headed Oriole and awesome call of the kite from hundred feets above distracts him, pushes him towards some riverine past. Like the tale of thousands of missing love affairs and painful separation as the river has to leave a place and go towards the sea - the bigger picture, kaleidoscope waits for the monsoon to fill up the gorge.

The remembrance of the untold love affairs halts kaleidoscopic pace as he encounters a rudra palas on the other side of the canal - lonely and yet colourful. There may be fallen flowers, wait that would last forever but no regrets. The spring has to come. 

Everyday menaingmaking and the absent structure:The lost workshop trail and Derrida interaface

There was a pre-Kaleidoscopic time, and it is mentioned in past, but that does not mean that it is over! It is not over because the meaning of the pre-Kaleidoscopic time is never settled just as none of the meanings are well settled ever. This story is rooted in moments before the Kaleidoscopic beginning in a workshop in 2010. He was looking for an avenue to vent out himself, and he planned this blog. However, the workshop gave Kaleidoscope unique experiences. It was then disappeared in an unfinished trail and lost (not completely) in the layers of time. What today Kaleidoscope experienced Derrida would have said "Différance it is." Derrida in his relatively little easier books Speech and Phenomena (1973) and Writing and Difference (1978) talks of an impossibility to settle with the meaning of the signifiers because there are too many signified attached and each of them is directing to some newer bunch of them. Its like a never-ending circle of meaning making which is Différance indefinitely.




Perhaps the 'something missing' in nature of the discourse enables kaleidoscope to connect, to bring out the long lost flow of narratives after a while - the time which seemed lost, but was snoozing in a long pause. While Kaleidoscope in his textual experiences with Derrida was afraid of the loss of signified and being lost in the game of signifiers can now see another dimension to it. It is because of the lack of settled nature of the communications itself he could trace the trail of the qualitative workshop that happened and moved his understanding about the issue seven years ago. Its not that he lost the entire connection to the intellectual vibration created in the workshop through his work and rework on the article which finally got published with Routledge along with other participants of the workshop! Meanwhile he, just like others started making other meanings through life experiences. However, he found the trail back in track immediately the moment of another series of short but intensive game of signifiers - the discourse in a little coffee-shop. Kaleidoscope could immediately connect to the cloud of intellectual vibration that he had to leave for a while in a long snooze!


The meaning making in Différance is troublesome as it continues to question what Kaleidoscope's species ultimately communicates - ultimately, its communication that enables them to coordinate actions and rule the world. However, todays immediate connect and revival of the vibration after the long snooze assures Kaleidoscope that it is this Différance that makes the connection possible. The meanings were never objective, unchanged and moreover, hence was never settled at all. Kaleidoscope knows even today it was "the indefinite referral of signifier to signifier... which gives the signified meaning no respite... so tat it always signifies again!"




Therefore, thoughts can be exchanged, untold stories can be collected, an article - a book might be born with Différance, over a cups of Darjeeling tea - perhaps fleeting like a Himalayan forest ground. There will be more stories to be told.


Hence, Kaleidoscope like many others continues to survive all the disruptions as he knows none of the meanings are well settled and that is a wonderful thing. The trail continues between researchers, between books and articles, between blogposts and between words and discourses.




Yes kaleidoscope now understands there are "certain relationships, unperceived by the writer, between what s/he commands and s/he does not command of the patterns of language that he uses. This relationship is... a signifying structure that critical reading should produce... production attempts to make the not seen accessible to sight." (Derrida, J. 1976. Of Grammatology. 158, 163)

Letting go 17: Space that saves you

You never know what saves you from sheer disaster. Sometimes the place where you feel that you belong to lifts you up from a sure fall on your face. And then you grow up and migrate. You are forced to leave or might choose to do so. When you leave and you wake up in the middle of night to search for the space only to find the time and space gone for long. You pull and concentrate through your long blood vessels. They rush!  Sometimes even within your dreams you search for the body of the space - your bed, pillows, a window, the slice of sky and pair of eyes or a known smell - all lost (?)in time only to be found in the never-ending circles of time space sandwich.
 

And then you begin your search for the 'lost' in space. You find your imagined marks on the corners of your corridors or on the rooftop. Those whitewash renovations could only transform those walls and not your marks anymore. Not because they are imagined but because they are transcendental. They continue to lift you up, save you, make you relive many more ways than you would ever know.

Raindrops and emptiness

No matter how critical he might be about the late capital existence, kaleidoscope wont deny the fact that its wonderful to see outside in the middle of a rainy day from a built-in-space, that too when empty.  Drenched in a rain, a cup of darjeeling tea and sometime alone in the middle of a coffee shop is a chance to indulge late capital self to explore the details of civilisation.

The shop happens to be empty, only a person waiting at one corner, a gang of college friends carrying engineer's hallmark 'T scale' and a wonderful couple looking at each other! The outside is melting down through the glasspanels. Once and all none of them are involved in their mobile phones, weather does wonder.

Suddenly, there is Bryan Adams 'Rescue me' followed by 'have you really loved a woman'.

What if the rain drops are coming from all the rivers Kaleidoscope fell in love with, what if they have come to make love with the space, always meant for love - friendship- companionship. When rain comes so does the wind to make the drenching complete, to make the melting worth melt for.

Kaleidoscope sometimes do feel love is often about the space and moments - all equalising raindrops from all the rivers makes it even more prominent - more liveable.

Walking through a river: After a drink or two

Now is the time for you to see beyond focus, like you always have after a drink or two.

While there are moments of juxtaposed boundaries kaleidoscope like to call as postmodern, there are also materialistic times that make focus disappear once and forever.

What does it entail? A pair of wet eyes because of a departure whether you had expected or not, or an overworked late capital dream that hardly finds time for the better things of life, but continues to subscribe to the dream meanwhile lose the eyesight.

How does it do? There lies a pair of legs that drags the bloody machine still busy with a handheld device hardly getting a time to see the spectacle of the festival over the waste water canal that goes to the river nearby. Ah, River! the word echoes for a while. The pair of eyes look up for the smell and sound of water kissing the shore. A screen engaged eye cannot see the world outside.

The spectacle remains so does the river in the distant past. Like ghosts from the colonial past kaleidoscope listens once again the lines he uttered-"Now is the time for you to see beyond focus, like you always have after a drink or two."

Letting go 16: seeing like a romeo

The sky often makes you fly even if it is meant for a moment. A moment - a lifetime perhaps through an endless cycles. The biography of rain begins from the ground. The mid-day summer sun, no matter how often brings sweaty water on Kaleidoscopic skin, gives those drops wings to fly. Sometimes, these drops give a wild appeal to kaleidoscope as well. Makes kaleidoscope fall in love with the memories of his love making with the river, stormy lived experiences with the ocean and then the lusty lonely private affairs with the rain. The rain finally stops flying with the cloud, it looses its connections to the wind that blows and eventually falls like lovers depart forever. The sky cries out through a thunderstorm. Kaleidoscope knows somewhere there is are great departures as the sky howls and monsoon lets it settle down for ever. Yes, water - rain is a great equalizer.

Its just not the same when lovers depart. Its not just the same as kaleidoscope imagines to piece together every moments which have become numerous fragments and are lost in the endless succession of ever increasing complex and multi-layered other moments.

Meanwhile as kaleidoscope searches for the rivery reflections - the lost moments - a name - a smell the rain gets settled like all disruptions and tear drops do. Kaleidoscope like everyone else wipes raindrops from the eyes but not entirely.

Like the broken windshield kaleidoscope carries millions of suns to evaporate and like a car wiper rain drops do remains.

Perhaps that establishes connections- perhaps that brings the rain. Perhaps this is why kaleidoscope lives even a million drops away from the river, from the ocean from the cloud!

Kaleidoscope could capture the following intimate moments- indeed private affairs!

Letting go 13 - defining maturity

Like a falling leaf carrying ages of scripts, a flower that is over with its blooming moments, like a tree that dries with all its memories - patterns do change. No one knows when is the time to learn that its over for the old pattern and the beginning of something new! Time does not come in neatly bounded boxes, or does it? Like we know all major lifecycle events present life in chapters!

What happens when you know you have to wait for something to happen? You know you have smashed the keys, missed the final train, and you know those roads are no longer accessible and you are yet to start the 'new chapter'. When the rules of thumb dont apply anymore and like a wild fire the forest is burning!

You try to pull the poor self away from the forest of memories through the sleepless night and day. Laughing at you loud is your failure. You become entangled, cling with memories and dragged by the flow of time.

Like all that is lost  - the key, the roads and the final train, something continues,no matter how entangled, dragged and torn apart. Like frameless heads with endless possibilities you drift away. Being nowhere and everywhere.

Now that's what they call maturing - the series of letting goes. Yes kaleidoscope grows so does the world!

New Town and return of the repressed: Memories and Classy Country roads

Kaleidoscope in his new workplace often finds himself wondering and questioning his existence. He knows it happens primarily because of the settings of a build-in city in a freshly transformed environment, designed to comfort urban needs! Well Kaleidoscope is neither urban, nor in need to satisfy his needs out of the built-in environment. He knows this place is no different from other build in cities around the country. He could have been in Noida and feel the same. Therefore, he sometimes, roams around with some other souls who perhaps wonders in a different way with different sets of questions in mind.


Memories on a random day:
So, on such a random day Kaleidoscope met with a person selling green coconut. It was quite a discussion. He could remember a large water body near the New Town bus stand surrounded by grasslands, a graveyard nearby where children used to be buried and a famous banyan tree where several people have committed suicide for unknown reasons over the years. He could recall how fearful was it to people to roam around these places even in broad day light. People could listen to calls from the tree - calls of familiar voices - in Bengali its Nishi Daak - reminded by one of Kaleidoscope's fellow wondering souls. Well, the discussion was brief, continued until Kaleidoscope decided not to consume the entire part of the soft coconut taken out of the green coconut. The seller's his eyes could cross Kaleidoscope's body and focus towards the horizon - perhaps because memories stay at the horizon. Good old days also stay at the horizon. However, the repressed returns in a variety of forms. Sometimes a well kempt boulevard is "infested" by the grassland or the lawn is occupied by outsiders doing mundane proletariat things.

Often the seeds of memories come back quite unexpectedly as repressed returns

The lawn- Bourgeois lawn and others' evening encroachments another moment of return of the repressed.

Country roads:
As one of Kaleidosocope's fellow wondering souls says there has been real country roads nearby. Yes there were, but now there is a microbrewery nearby with the same name. it offers quality food and wonderful range of beers. Kaleidoscope sometimes goes there to drink a few mugs! No matter how hypocritical it may sound, Kaleidoscope too has urban needs to satisfy. While Kaleidoscope could roam around centres and periphery of this "built in" space, the memories as the coconut seller revisits, tend to disappear. The new space does not consider even the names of the places which used to exist when there was real country roads!

Letting go 11: Surreal evening with the river

An evening with the river

Not everyday ends up in a surreal evening, not every sunset and darkness brings two lonely whispering souls to whisper their lonely love affairs without talking of love at all. Like two best friends share a secret and then disappear in the soil or turn into ashes to blow away with the river stream, whispering begins. The story however, remains unknown and concealed. Like the forest becomes library in the twilight, rivers whisper near the bank, a surreal world unwraps in an extraordinary sunsets. 

A walk along the riverbank in the twilight, sometimes during a surreal sunset reveals story threads. Stories and discoveries that never fails to make kaleidoscope mesmerised. With the approaching darkness kaleidoscope could feel the river engulfing his soul. Before disappearing he could smell the wind blowing. A homecoming storm comes out of nowhere and claims all the words spoken, the moment shared!The sandy dusts and water blows through kaleidoscope's face. Quite the same way wind plays with your hair in a windy highway, kaleidoscope could feel home coming storm inside. 

Words and moments begin to dance around his soul, like a stream of consciousness in blood rushing through his vain. It synchronizes with a rapidly beating heart, fast breathing. Kaleidoscope could see all senses synchronizing in the tune of riverine whispers. He could eventually smell the riverine aroma and before disappearing in the riverine darkness he could listen to the whispering words -  'all yours.'